In tech, we use many words for old hands at coding that can weave miracles out of scraps such as wizards, greybeards, or Old [insert name here]. Today I met a wizard, and as such I would like to write about Robert Houllahan of Cinelabs.

I was at a “swimming party” for film processing, “swimming” because manual processing so much film takes boatloads of water, and found my way to the couch with some salad for dinner with my gf. My girlfriend then tugged on my sleeve and pointed out a quiet, unassuming man, definitely 50+, maybe even 60, beer belly showing with a camera in his side bag and one of those camo pants with lots of pockets. Oh and a man bun. Go see his linkedin for a profile lol. “That’s Rob!” she said, “That’s Rob!”. “Who?” I asked. “Rob of Cinelabs! All Vanderbilt’s student films get scanned there and I remember writing a long email to Mr. Houllahan for the first time asking…..”. (Imagine a Kpop fan seeing a kpop star from afar). Somehow, Rob came to sit next to us as we had dinner, just ambled himself onto the armchair next to our couch.

My girlfriend, obviously, had to introduce herself. And then Rob told us that he is the man that helped setup Steve Cossman’s scanner that I wrote about in niche tech in film. At that point I am piqued. One simply knows that Rob is gonna be absolutely delightfully interesting. And so 25 minutes of scanner tech talk begins.

From resolution dimensions, lens specifications, stabilization software, databus sizes, storage problems, SSD vs HDD and accompanying tools, operating systems, to supply chain origins, UI/UX improvements, historical (brief) walkthrough of scanner tech history and recent developments. Rob lists every detail on any topic, in a chain unending. There might be an intro to his answers? maybe a topic sentence? but never a conclusion. Sometimes, I knew I had to cut in because time is short (party conversations has a certain energy gauge you have to ascertain constantly), but I was enthralled. Here was a master, and even though I only understand about 33% of what’s going on, I had to ask them.

At one point, Rob stood up and goes to get more pizza. I think that meant my time was up. I had a feeling Rob is a solitary man, and goes where he pleases (even if he really doesn’t show it). We didn’t interact much afterwards but I did get a handshake before heading home. His hands were warm.

Last note: Researching online about Cinelabs, I get a distinct feeling modern filmmakers are sometimes frustrated about the lack of communication when put in an order. I think they don’t realize the work that goes in processing millions of feet of film a year in such a tightly run ship. Also, since it’s so very very unlikely that Rob would see this blogpost, I like to hypothesize, based on my short interaction with the glacier that is Rob Houllahan, that the man could be on the spectrum. He is a wizard though, that’s for sure. Not to mention, he is a site sponsor of cinematography.com, and is ALWAYS ONLINE! Seriously, check his profile! He even has a tiktok!.

Rob and me